SUMMARIZING MY 2008 IN ONE WORD: DISCRIMINATION! (PART 3 OF 4)

Yes, I know that because I am a white male Christian that I should only be the perpetrator of discrimination and never the victim. However, I managed to get the short end of the stick four times this year. These have resulted in me having to endure serious finical hardship.

The third occurrence was one that you may think does not qualify as discrimination, but ideological difference of opinion. However, if discrimination is grounded in ignorance and bigotry then this one is defiantly in the neighborhood. I was in a training class in late July in order to work for a non-profit organization that provides need services to children. For this reason, I am not going to reveal its name and will limit the details about their mission as much as possible.

Many of the services provide by this organization are in home and are received by children various ethnicities, nationalities, religions, etc. So one of the things that had to be discussed was cultural sensitivity. Unfortunately, the instructor could not discuss this because she managed to offend an unknown group of students the last time she had taught that unit. She therefore had to go and take a special course herself before she could resume teaching it. They would go ahead and have us complete the rest of the training and call us back in once she had been recertified to teach it again.

A couple of students asked if she could recommend were we might be able to go to take a course in the mean time. She, due to stupid legal concerns, was forbidden by her supervisor to do so. Therefore, I volunteer the idea that church that do cross-cultural ministries often time have class to teach their workers about such matters. That is when the problems started. She said, speaking as someone who obviously has never been apart of a church’s cross-cultural ministry, said that might not be a good idea. That some church might not want outsiders coming into their class.

I was so shocked at the ignorance of her statement that I was speechless. Any church who starts a cross-cultural ministry does so because they want outsiders to come. It is the vary mission that the church was put on the Earth to fulfill. I could see how a group of students could get offended by someone like her. She was offending me by speaking on behalf of a group that she obviously has never been a part of, but I was!

Never-the-less, I stood down out of respect for her position as the teacher. I hoped to come back early from lunch and discuss the matter in private. Although she could not teach the unit, she was did take time to emphasize the point that cultural sensitivity was important. In the process, it became vary clear that she had issues with my entire ideology that she never gave me the opportunity to fully articulate.

Lunch finally came and I left and came back early to make sure that I had enough time talk to her in privet. I never got the opportunity. As soon as I got back, she told me that her supervisor had to talk to me. Her supervisor told me that the organization did not have an opening for me at that time and that I would not be able to complete the class. She walked me back to the class and observed me from the doorway as a gathered my personal items.

There are two different types of discrimination at work here. The first is the discrimination that the “politically correct” commit against those who are not paranoid about stepping on other peoples toes. This is not to say that I am callous about other people’s feeling. I acknowledge that the “politically correct” have done a lot of good by confronting negative pre-conceived notions about those who we do not really know. Especially when it comes to those with disabilities.

I am however; a gratefully recovering co-dependant that “political correctness” often times goes too far and becomes what I call “political co-dependency”. One of the biggest characteristics about us co-dependences is that we do not believe that it is OK to be ourselves. We feel the need to have to conform to what other want us to be in spite of the fact that those who expect such have totally different expectations. What we co-dependents have to learn is that if we just develop our charator so that it is consistant with the teachings of the Bible, we will win over the vast majority of people whom we cross paths with. The one who do not want to get along with us, do not want to get along with anybody else. That is their fault, not ours!

Another major characteristic of co-dependency is the “egg shell” mentality. A dysfunctional family that has an addict will often times “walk on egg shells” in order to keep the peace. It will also keep the addict an addict and therefore the family unit will remain dysfunctional. The first step in breaking the chains of addiction and dysfunction is for someone to speak out against it. “Political correctness” becomes “political co-dependency” when those who try to speak out against the dysfunction are villainized.

No culture is divinely inspired. Every culture that I have ever encountered has various degrees of domestic violence, male chauvinism and ethnic malice. This is not to say that you will find it in every household. Never-the-less, most societies recognize that the husband-father is considered to have the right of absolute rule over their household. If he is of noble and righteous character, then everything is great. If he is an abusive tyrant, then the entire community is expected to stand aside and allow him to terrorize the members of his household.

The majority of the few times that I have ever had inter cultural conflict is when I refused to stand aside. Most notably when I demanded that husband provide proof of his allegations of his wife’s adultery. In his culture, all wives accused of adultery are treated as guilty, period. I was told that I was imposing my American ways on them. They were dumb found when I explain to these “Christians” that my stance was grounded in Biblical instruction rather then American culture. (Deuteronomy 19:15, “One witness shall not rise against a man concerning any iniquity or any sin that he commits; by the mouth of two or three witnesses the matter shall be established.”)

The only other times that I have had cultural conflict is when children abandoned the cultural principals that they need. They instead try to fit in with their American peers by embracing the worst aspects of American culture. Most notably, contempt towards their parents and all other authority. The consequences are that they wind up throwing away their opportunity to go to collage and thus condemn themselves to lives of poverty. I know to young girls who dropped out of high school because they got pregnant. I know another one that is following their same path. Then there is the 14 year who has been secretly meeting guys on My Space.

I hope that you can see that I do not have arbitrary cross-cultural conflicts. I will only take a stand when it matters. I will speak out against any practice, including American ones, which are self-destructive and/or oppressive. I will defend any practice, including foreign ones, which will help individuals make the most out of their time here on Earth. Especially Biblical ones!

The second form of discrimination in this case is one committed by a scholarly intellect who relies on knowledge acquired from special training classes. This teacher showed no respect for someone like me who has not attended such class, but relies on knowledge acquired through my personal experience in cross-cultural church ministry. With all of her book knowledge, she still managed to lose her certification to teach cultural awareness by her previously offending an unknown group.

This is not to say that such classes are not beneficial and that she had no actual cross-cultural experience. After all, we live in Phoenix were you would have to lock yourself in a closet in order to avoid cross-cultural contact. However, it was clear to me that as soon as this teacher stepped out of those classes she stopped being a student, and started being an arrogant know-it-all. This teacher apparently is not aware that one of the issues that non-Americans have with Americans is that we come off as being arrogant know-it-alls. Maybe then she will stop offender her students.

My approach, to go to them as a humble student wanting them teach me their culture themselves, has always been well received. This approach has served me well for the past five years at the Arabic church that I am not only a member of, but also take a leading role helping it function. It also served me well in the past nine years while working with refugees from every country destroyed by “civil war” since I was born. Many of these were Muslims that were at first harassed by their hard line conservative neighbors for befriending me. In time, most of those neighbors befriended me as well.

Finally, I want to give you my core cross-cultural insight: View everybody first and foremost as human beings who…

1. …are capable of free choice. Just because their culture tries to teach them certain ways of doing things does not mean that they want obey. As I stated earlier, many of these cultural practices are oppressive and therefore many of those who are suppose to submit to them want to reject them. If we assume that we have to cooperate with such practices, are we not imposing this oppression on them? Should we expect women have to ride in the back seat just because there culture says that they have to. Do you have any idea how many women come to this country just so they can be treated as equals? How dare anyone deny them that right! Never-the-less, many do want to submit to such practices and so we have to except that we cannot defend those who do not want to be defended.

B. …have the same basic desires to live peaceful and prosperous lives. I know that many go astray by suppressing those desires and instead follow the evil in their hearts. However, this same fact is true about us Americans and Christians. For all the good that many of us do, there are those Americans and Christians who’s hearts are as hate filled as any member of al’ Qaeda. Should we Americans and Christians therefore be judged by the Muslims as harshly as many of us judge them?

C. …are so loved by God that he sent his only begotten son to die for them. Non-Christians may choose to reject this principle, but true Christians are not given an option.

Summarizing My 2008 in One Word: Discrimination! (Part 2 of 4)

Yes, I know that because I am a white male Christian that I should only be the perpetrator of discrimination and never the victim. However, I managed to get the short end of the stick four times this year. These have resulted in me having to endure serious finical hardship.

The second occurrence of discrimination is one that I can never prove, but I have been a security officer long enough to know what standard operating procedures are. Therefore, when they are set aside, I start wondering why. The nature of what I believe to discrimination was ethnic and religious in nature. The funniest thing about this is that I am not of the targeted ethnicity and I reject the targeted religion.

From March – June, I was assigned to the Ulta Cosmetics warehouse here in Phoenix while working for Allegiance Security. My duties were centered around loss prevention, which required me to be by the employee entrance so I could inspect all containers for client merchandise. The client allowed me to bring my laptop to work during slow periods as long as it did not distract me when the employees did come through.

One night in June, I was working on the Microsoft Power Point slide presentation to be used prior to the start of my Arabic church’s Sunday morning service. My pastor had e-mailed me a copy of the bulletin that he does on Microsoft Word and I was copy and pasting the various sections. Because my church ministers to the Arab community, the texts were both in English and Arabic. On the night in question, I was working on the following slide:

كيف أصبح عضوا في هذه الكنيسة

HOW TO BECOME A MEMBER OF THE CHURCH

يجب أن أقابل الرب وما فعله من أجلي على الصليب
YOU MUST HAVE A MEETING WITH THE LORD AND SEE WHAT HE HAS DONE FOR YOU

يجب أن أعترف في حاجتي الى خلاصه العجيب وأختبر ذاك الخلاص
YOU MUST CONFESS YOUR NEED FOR HIS WONDERFUL SALVATION AND EXPERIENCE IT

يجب أن أعلن رغبتي للإنضمام إلى الكنيسة
YOU MUST DECLARE YOUR DESIRE TO JOIN HIS CHURCH

تجب أن أتبع وصية المسيح بالمعمودية بالتغطيس

YOU MUST FOLLOW IN BAPTISM THROUGH IMMERSION AS HE COMMANDED

While I was working on this slide, a client employee (whom I had a good rapport with at the time) briefly glanced over my shoulder. Apparently, he only noticed the Arabic script as he went out the door. He asked me if I was reading “al-Qaeda c***” and left without giving me a chance to respond. The client, whom had made no complaints about me prior to this, requested that I be removed from site three days later.

Because we security officer are “contracted employee,” we are not entitled to any right of due process from the client. Technically speaking, the client can have us removed for site just because they feel like it. Our employers themselves are required to give us due process before imposing disciplinary action, but the client does not. A run of the mill transferring of a guard to another site is not considered a disciplinary action in and of its self because their employment is not interrupted.

Security industry standard operating procedure for a guard being removed from site at the client’s request is to call him or her into the office and tell them why. When I went in, that told me not to worry about it. They did not believe what the client said and all of my fellow guards speak highly of me. What? Why did my supervisors go to my fellow guards in order to get their opinion of me? Why will they not tell me what the clients said about me? I have been in the security industry for most of the past seven years and this is not consistent with the industries professional standards.

The following week, my supervisor came to check on me at the site were they had transferred me. As we talk, I found opportunity to talk to him about my involvement with my church. It is just something that Christians like me naturally do. He claimed to be a Christian as well, but I did not sense that he was asking more about my church out of curiosity. I felt like he was being an inquisitor right from the beginning when he said, “So your a Christian.”

I entertained the possibility that they could be another explanation as to why I was removed from site up until this conversation. If I am right, Ulta Cosmetics put Allegiance Security in a bind. This act of discrimination, if I could prove it, could have resulted in a lawsuit against both of them. However, you are supposed to give the client what they want in order to keep the contract. On this occasion, Allegiance Security got to have their cake and eat it too.

Summarizing My 2008 in One Word: Discrimination! (Part 1 of 4)

Yes, I know that because I am a white male Christian that I should only be the perpetrator of discrimination and never the victim. However, I managed to get the short end of the stick four times this year. These have resulted in me having to endure serious finical hardship.

The first occurrence happened in February while I was with my first employer of the year, ResCare Homecare. I was hired to provide services to my assigned clients who mostly required respite and personal care. The discriminatory act in this instance was committed by the next-door neighbor of a 4-year-old autistic boy who I was to provide respite and habitation. Her complaint of me “touching him inappropriately” centered around my use of the intervention technique call, “the bear hug.” There is no doubt in my mind that she would have never made such an accusation against a woman using this technique. After all, I am a man and some view all men as being abusers of women and children.

Lisa Ratan taught “The bear hug” technique to me when I worked in the Early Childhood Department of Word of Grace Church in Mesa, AZ. (March 1993 - August 1995) Ms. Ratan was a member of the ASU faculty were she taught a course on Early Childhood. She was a staunch advocate of children’s rights and had classroom standards that were far superior to those of the State of Arizona. Example: the State allowed for a 15/1 student/teacher ratio in daycare kindergarten classrooms and did not require a second teacher unless the attendance reached 16 or more. Ms. Ratan’s ratio was 12/1 and that there was always to be at least two teachers no matter how small your attendance.

Ms. Ratan taught “the bear hug” as a non-abusive “intervention technique.” It was used a child needed to be restrained from doing something that could injure themselves or others. The hug it self, couple with speaking to the child in a calm-firm voice, was designed to stop the behavior in a way that also show affection. In this manner, the behavior is ended while your rapport with the child is strengthened. As I used this technique, I noticed that many of the children that I used it on regularly actually enjoyed being held. It therefore dawned on me to try to use it as a “preemptive” technique. I would give these children the affection they craved before they acted up and therefore would not have to act inappropriately in order to receive it, and it worked!

The boy that I worked with in February was the first autistic child that I have ever tried using it with. It was all that I knew to do with a child who’s out of control behavior was chasing away caregivers left and right. It is hard for me to say whether or not it would have been effective with him because the allegation was made less then a week and a half after I started working with him. There was no question that he and I were bonding; the question was whether or not he would start minding. His autism seemed to make him “randomly tactile defensive” meaning that what he like one day, including “the bear hug,” he did not like the next. I defiantly need a more comprehensive strategy for working with him that may or may not have included a limited use of “the bear hug,” but I was never given the opportunity to ask.

I was placed on immediate administrative leave without pay because of this allegation. After about six weeks, ResCare finally asked me to come in and give my side of the story. Why so long? They claimed there were a spike in various allegations made against various caregivers and they handled them in the order of gravity. Those who were accused of worst acts were moved ahead of mine. They were also required by law to report allegations of this nature to both the police and Child Protective Services, neither of which ever contacted me.

ResCare finally reached their decision in August after about five months of them sometime investigating the allegation and sometimes putting me on the back burner. They offered me my job back; but would only allow me to work with adults. What they did not say is that I had been exonerated of this allegation. If I truly were, they would not have placed this restriction upon me. They found no reason to believe that I was guilty and that is all they cared about. Some of my clients that I worked with before being placed on administrative leave were adults and I had no objections to resume working with them. The three objections that I do have are: first, that such a restriction says that they believe that I might be guilty and my reputation is still in question. Second, the restriction is a condemnation of a technique taught to me be a mentor that I highly respect and that I have used effectively ever since. Finally, my right to an expedient due process was violated.

I have use Ms. Ratan’s “bear hug” technique in a number of volunteer Church setting and have been praised for my ability to handle children. I have also tried to use this same technique in professional settings, such as daycare, respite care, etc and have been run out every time. Why the difference? The mission of the Churches is, in part, to minister to the needs of those who come to them. When they see someone is good at doing just that, most will stand up to those who would make unmerited allegations against them.

The mission of any business is to make money. This is the case in almost all corporations whether you are talking about childcare, security, etc. Negative publicity and lawsuits, whether they are won are lost, hurts profit margins. Most corporate policy makers consist of bean counters and civil law lawyers who can and will override the judgment of genuine industry experts. This veto power rest solely in the hands of those who care nothing about what is in the best interest of the customers, clients, employee, etc. They are only concerned that their corporate executives get their new 50’ yachts.

Caring For the Physically, Mentally and Developmentally Disabled

I wrote the following outline in May 2000 as encouragement and some understanding to the parents of a 13 month old Ethiopian boy, Fasica, who was born in a Djibouti refugee camp with Cerebral Palsy. His parents’ limited English made it impossible for them to understand what the doctors were telling them. My “personal house call” visit enabled me to

I wrote this outline for them based on my personal experiences as an older brother to a sister, Kelly, with Downs syndrome – a volunteer for the Wyoming Special Olympics – a volunteer with the Mesa (Arizona) Public Schools’ Special Education Department – a MPS Instructional Assistant (sounds more impressive than it really was) – and a respite provider for a couple of disability provider services.

My biggest motivation for converting it into a blog was radio sports talk host, Chris Russell. He had made mention that his son was in a “Challenger League” for children with disabilities. That is when I remember that I still had this on my hard drive and that others might be able to draw encouragement from it if I made a blog out of it. So I hereby dedicate this blog to Kelly, Fasica, and the son of Chris Russell.

I Physical, Mental and Developmental Disabilities are not...

1. the same as mental illness.

2. an indication of a lack of intelligence.

3. the same as laziness.

4. the fault of the child or parent.

5. entirely untreatable.

II Do not assume that they are incapable of…

1. achieving anything.

2. understanding you.

3. understanding what is going on around them.

4. intelligence.

III The Physically, Mentally, Developmentally Disabled need to…

1. be given extra care and consideration.

2. be loved just like everybody else.

3. be motivated just like everyone else.

4. be disciplined just like everyone else.

5. communicate and to be understood just like everybody else.

6. learn just like everyone else.

IV Practical things that we can do to help

1. Learn what means of communication that the disabled individual is capable of.

2. Everyone should get as involved in the habilitation program as possible.

3. Pay attention to any growth that they may have in any area of development.

4. Realize that they may develop in growth spurts in different areas at different time.

5. Be realistic about what to expect so that you do not expect too much.

THE GRACIOUS AND MERCIFUL GOD?

My church, First Arabic Baptist, hosted a series of New Years revival events during the last week of 2007. One of our guest speakers requested that she not be recorded in any way out of concern for herself and her family. She had converted from Islam to Christianity back in 2000 and was therefore afraid of the retribution for doing so. Such retribution is often threatened and occasionally carried out. Never-the-less, she had already made arrangements to fly back to Egypt in order to inform her family of her decision in spite of the risk that it posed to her.

As she was speaking I started to ponder about how the Koran refers to “Allah” as “The Gracious and Merciful.” Never-the-less, I have never read any were in the Koran were “Allah” actually acts in as gracious and merciful manner. Their prophet who recited[1],[2] the Koran to the first Muslims, Muhammad, never speaks in a gracious and merciful manner towards non-believers. He instructs his follows to deal with them in a manner that is anything but gracious and merciful. So if “Allah” is truly the gracious and merciful why does neither He nor His prophet ever speak or act in a gracious and merciful manner?

In 2000, a group of Muslims that we taught English to at my church moved to an apartment complex on the other side of town. Sharon, our director, recruited another church to start an English class for them. They endured a conservative back lash from some of their fellow Muslims who were opposed to them receiving help form Christian. One of our volunteers was confront by one of them when she came to make a social visits with one of the families in advance of the start of the class. On the night of the first class, some of our students were in tears because these hard line conservatives were telling them that they would be bad Muslims if they went. I found out months later that one girl was beaten by her older brother because she tried to get into the van that was sent to pick them up.

Through my tireless service to all of the refugees in their community with out regard to religion, I was able to build a strong enough reputation to start an English to in the community room of their apartment complex. When some of my Muslim students saw me open up the room, they assumed that I was starting another English class. I explained to them what I was doing and the ones that spoke good enough English to understand explained it to those who did not. They then continued to converse about other things in their language at the doorway of the room until I announced that the Bible Study was about to start. As soon as I did the Muslims who were at the doorway quickly exited the room as if they were afraid that their neighbors would think that they actually going to be involved with the study.

While I was writing this, a missionary to Indonesia visited our church. I told us of the horrible persecution that were being committed against the Christians there. These were stories that I have heard many times over since I became a Christian August 4, 1983. The question is, what percentage of all Muslims are involved in these acts? Some would tell you that every Muslim is obligated to participate in such atrocities because the Koran tells them to do so. I stand with those who would tell you that such militants are an ultra radical minority.

It is a fact there is a difference between the teachings of Christianity and the way that Christians conduct themselves on a day to day basis. It is also true that there is a difference the teachings of Islam and the way that Muslims conduct themselves on a day to day basis. Christianity and Islam are religions – Christians and Muslims are human being with free choice. What they are supposed do and what they want to do are not always the same. In the end, it is up to each individual to choose whether to obey what they have been taught or to go their own path.

Never-the-less, it is impossible for anyone to make a strong case that the violent militants are not firm control of Islam. So if “Allah” is truly gracious and merciful, why will the peaceable majority that I know not exist stand up to the militants and take control of their religion? That is a question that they need to answer for themselves.

[1] “The Arabic name (Qur’ān) means ‘The Recital’.”; “Introduction” chapter; “The Koran with Parallel Arabic Text;” pg ix; footnote 1; Penguin Books; © 2000; by: N. J. Dawood

[2] “The Koranic revelations followed each other at brief intervals and were at first committed to memory by professional remembrancers. During Muhammad’s lifetime verses were written on palm-leaves, stones, and any material that came to hand. Their collection was completed during the caliphate of ‘Umar the second Caliph, and an authorized version was established the caliphate of “Uthmān his successor (644-56).”; “Introduction” chapter; “The Koran with Parallel Arabic Text;” pg x; paragraph 4; Penguin Books; © 2000; by: N. J. Dawood

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS AND LENT

New Year Day, 2008

Why do so many people feel obligated to make New Year’s resolutions every year in which they promise to do something that will improve their lives? Loosing weight, quitting smoking and quitting drinking are probably the three most common. Self-control,[1] patience and conflict resolution skills [2] are some of the highly underrated character issues that people really need to be improving. I could go and dig up some statistic done by various research groups that will tell you the precise percentage of people that fail to fulfill such resolution, but I don’t need to. You know for yourself how many times you have failed to keep your own resolutions in the past. You know how many times you and your friends have told each other your resolutions and then failed to keep them. The newscasts during the final week of every year are filled special reports that will tell you how to maintain your resolution. News reporters joke with each other about how they have the same resolution this year as they have had for the past several. They tell you that they always seem to blow their resolutions in less then a week.

Then there is Lent, which was originally a solemn preparation of the hearts of Christians through prayer and fasting of prior to the celebration of Easter. To the modern secular world, it is just another time that are suppose to give up something, but only for 40 days. Many modern secularized Christians pledge to spend the 40 days of Lent acting like the Christians that they are suppose to be year around. My Muslim friends may object to me saying that Ramadan incorporates both aspect of Lent, but I have worked too closely with their community to not be able to see what is blatantly obvious. Lent has been used to justify the invention of the pre-Lent festival know as “Fat Tuesday” which is nothing more then a sin-fest. I find it highly unlikely that anybody who observes “Fat Tuesday” also observes Lent.

The reason why New Year’s resolutions, Lent and other “change your life” days are such vain endeavors is that real change only comes if you really want it. If you really want to change then you won’t wait until the New Year, Lent, etc to do so. Instead, you would immediately start making the changes that you need to make the instant that you realize that they are necessary. Everybody that I have heard give a testimony of how they succeeded in overcoming addictions and other character flaws bares this statement out.

So why celebrate the New Year and Lent? The New Year is a good time to reexamine your life’s goals and then look back over the previous year to see how far you have come to achieving them. This pertains to you education, career, family, etc. Look to see if you are still own track or if you have gotten side tracked somewhere along the way. You then take look to see what adjustments that you may need to make in how you commit your time and finances in order to reach those goals.

Lent is a good time to focus exclusively your spiritual walk especially in the area of your ministry gifts. Do you know what they are? Are you using them? What have you done to develop them so that you can use them more effectively? This spiritual self-examination can also be part of your New Year self-exam. Never-the-less, our spiritual walk is so important that we should take time out to focus on them exclusively. Christmas is so full of family orientated festivities that such solemn activities are difficult to focus on.

It is my hope that what I have written is an encouragement to you. You can make changes if you are trying to make them because you have come to the realization that you must rather then because the calendar says that you should.

[1] Which includes controlling one’s temper

[2] Which is dependent upon the developing self-control and patience