Self-esteem: (Webster’s) n. 1. a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect.
This definition of self-esteem seems to base on a positive self-esteem. You could say that it is a goal that all humans strive for. So why do we not reach it? Many people have a lot of different explanations for this dilemma, but I believe that I can sum up all of them in one word: Shame! The terms guilt and shame are used interchangeably in the English language, but I see this as a problem. That is because some feeling of remorse are beneficial to us and others are destructive. In the definitions that I am about to give, I will use the term guilt to describe positive remorse and shame to describe destructive remorse.
Guilt: (Webster’s) n. 2. a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.
Shame: (Webster’s) n., v. shamed, shaming. n. 1. the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another: She was overcome with shame.
Guilt vs. Shame: (My view) The Webster’s definition for shame expresses a much stronger emotion then its definition for guilt. The severity of these emotions can cause long-term repercussions. Although Webster’s may not totally agree with how I expand that thought, the following is an understanding that I have received from many different sources. Guilt says you are a human being who just simply messed up. Shame says you did something terrible and even unforgivable. Guilt says you did something wrong[1]; but shame can lead to the belief that there is something wrong with you. We are not talking about coming to the realization that you are a sinner in need of God’s forgiveness through the shed blood of his Son. That is a Biblical understanding that we all need to come to. What we are talking about is believing that you are unworthy of forgiveness and are without hope.[2] And that is a lie of Satan!
[1] Romans 3:10-24, 5:12, 5:18-19
[2] John 3:16-17; Romans 5:1-11, 5:15-17, 10:8-13
This definition of self-esteem seems to base on a positive self-esteem. You could say that it is a goal that all humans strive for. So why do we not reach it? Many people have a lot of different explanations for this dilemma, but I believe that I can sum up all of them in one word: Shame! The terms guilt and shame are used interchangeably in the English language, but I see this as a problem. That is because some feeling of remorse are beneficial to us and others are destructive. In the definitions that I am about to give, I will use the term guilt to describe positive remorse and shame to describe destructive remorse.
Guilt: (Webster’s) n. 2. a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.
Shame: (Webster’s) n., v. shamed, shaming. n. 1. the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another: She was overcome with shame.
Guilt vs. Shame: (My view) The Webster’s definition for shame expresses a much stronger emotion then its definition for guilt. The severity of these emotions can cause long-term repercussions. Although Webster’s may not totally agree with how I expand that thought, the following is an understanding that I have received from many different sources. Guilt says you are a human being who just simply messed up. Shame says you did something terrible and even unforgivable. Guilt says you did something wrong[1]; but shame can lead to the belief that there is something wrong with you. We are not talking about coming to the realization that you are a sinner in need of God’s forgiveness through the shed blood of his Son. That is a Biblical understanding that we all need to come to. What we are talking about is believing that you are unworthy of forgiveness and are without hope.[2] And that is a lie of Satan!
[1] Romans 3:10-24, 5:12, 5:18-19
[2] John 3:16-17; Romans 5:1-11, 5:15-17, 10:8-13
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